She Still Sings
by hitokage195
Summary: Willow deals with Tara's death a year later.


**Hello! ^^ jeez I haven't put anything up here in a while... Okay so I need to explain myself for this thing because it's... not the best thing I've ever written. First of all, I meant for it to take place after the end of season 7, which didn't work because I had no idea where the hell Willow even lives in season 8. So that kinda screwed stuff up, but it happens. The ending went off track too, it was meant to be sad the whole time but I like how it turned out. So... tell me what you guys think :)**

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Willow jolted awake, staring into the dark as the real world returned to her. Tears threatened to spill over as a sob welled in her. When her eyes adjusted enough to the darkness, she looked to see that Kennedy was still fast asleep beside her. Willow quietly and carefully got out of bed, holding her breath as she opened the door and slipped into the hallway.

She released her breath steadily, keeping control of its pace. She let her head hang as she moved, eyes unfocused. She didn't dare look up for fear that something would set her off. Even in the dark, she had lived in Buffy's house long enough to know her way around. She made her way down the stairs, flinching every time one of the planks squealed. When her feet touched the floor, she stopped a moment, waiting to hear movement from upstairs. There was nothing.

She stepped toward the front door, allowing herself to relax. As her concentration faded, her thoughts returned to the dark place that had awoken her to begin with, and the notes of a phantom voice sang in her ears. She tried to ignore it as she opened the door as soundlessly as she could.

The cool night air seemed to heighten her senses as it hit her, and the memories plaguing her came on even stronger. The trapped sob loosed from her throat and she sank to her knees as the voice whispered its song. She stayed there for what seemed like eternity, trying to gain control of her tears.

She blinked to clear her vision, sitting in silence. She wished the dreams would stop. She had hoped now that after almost a year had passed, the pain would let up, even a little. But whenever Willow felt like she could accept it, like everything was finally okay again, she was forced to relive that morning.

When she looked back on that day, it still wasn't real. After all this time it still felt like a dream, like it hadn't truly happened. But in her sleep it was as if she'd been taken back in time. In her dreams, it couldn't be more real.

She looked up at the sky. Trees and clouds blocked the stars and obscured the moon. Their absence gave her a sense of loneliness as the faint memory of a melody continued to tease at her ear.

She dropped her gaze, feeling lost. She'd more than once considered talking to one of her friends about this, but she couldn't. Buffy was too busy with the Potentials to deal with any distractions, Willow didn't want Xander to worry about her, and Kennedy…

Of course, Willow loved Kennedy and she had no doubt Kennedy returned her feelings. Willow knew the other girl cared about her, but this didn't seem like the kind of thing she could talk about with her.

Her thoughts wandered back to the voice that haunted her on each of these nights, the voice so vivid it seemed to sing to her, call to her. When she'd first heard it month ago she thought it was her imagination. But eventually she'd realized, and while she couldn't quite believe it at first, she had now heard it so many times she was unable to question it.

She thought it had all been a trick at first, when a dead girl had come to tell her lies, to hurt and confuse her. But now she saw fragments of truth in the words of The First, and the phantom melody that sounded for her now, that rose every time she was forced into the past, was proof.

Willow looked again at the sky and realized it was starting to lighten. She wiped her half-dried tears away and rose to her feet. She went back inside, smiling as realization came to her. For the first time, she allowed herself to listen to the ghostly song, knowing why it only made itself heard at times like these. It was the comfort she had been searching for, trying to reach her for all this time.

She would no longer fear the nightmares. She would welcome the voice and know that even though Tara was gone, she had never really left.


End file.
